Has anyone else had the experience where it feels like every guy that comes along “just wants to be friends?”
I get it, I understand. I’m not really attracted to you either, even though we do have quite a bit in common. But I am at capacity, I cannot fit one more male friend into my lineup, thankyouverymuch.
Cindy Chupack was a writer for Sex and the City, among many publications, movies and other TV shows, had this experience and called in the Male Friend Moratorium. Which makes me think that is just the place we send male friendships to die? Or is that just me and my own morbidity combined with frustration?
Lately I keep meeting men that I really don’t have an interest in dating, and they don’t really have an interest in me. Or at least I’m not picking up on the signals that they’re interested. They are either gay, or right out of a relationship, or are older and look at me like a little sister, or they look to me for fitness tips and advice.
Sure, we get along and have fun together. But I already have my great guy friends covered. I have the gay guy friend, the best guy friend, the guy friend in a long term relationship, the older father figure guy friend, the guy friend I call to go to concerts with. My dance card is full, I have no more room for guy friends.
And yet I don’t know what to do with these great, nice guys. Do I keep them around and hang out with them in case things change and we suddenly like each other? Do I keep them around with the assumption that you can never have too many friends? It feels wasteful to throw them to the curb. I don’t have any other single friends looking to get set-up. (Oh, that’s a sad realization)
So where do I fit these guys in? My social calendar is already full, and I already drink more often than I’d like. These guys all want to go out and drink. Really? Can we go workout or even grab coffee instead? I already drink more often than I would like, which in the scheme of things isn’t that often. But I’m a little competitive and I try to keep pace with my drinking partner. Not good when it’s a guy.
I don’t enjoy saying No I don’t want to be your friend. That seems so mean. And not true. I’m just busy, and no I’m not playing “hard to get.” And what if one of my guy friends drop out or move away? Wouldn’t it be easier to replace him if I had someone on the bench that knows me socially and seems like a good fit to move up?
I am stuck. If you have any good ideas what to do with this excess of men, let me know. I would happily send them your way if you lived near me, or if they figure out a clever way to FedEx men.