The Cop is really my only “successful” online dating story. I have a few other online dating stories, but he is the only one that lasted longer than a date or two.
I am not a big supporter of online dating for my dating life. But that’s a different post.
My dislike for online dating led me to conclude that it must be better if pay for online dating. Surely, the matches will be better because people are taking things seriously enough to pay for it and we are all looking for the same thing.
I found eHarmony to be overwhelming, I couldn’t keep up with all the matches every single day. It made me panic. However, I did meet this cute cop that lived in Virginia. He came to Baltimore often for work and we had great banter so we decided to meet for drinks and appetizers.
Our first date was fun. We laughed a lot and created our own inside jokes. I wasn’t sure if I was attracted yet. So we hung out a few more times, and it was more of the same. Lots of laughter but no more clarity.
I think we are the only people in the universe to create an inside joke about undercover sex trafficking, it was so twisted and ridiculous we had to laugh. And because it was so ridiculous we kept making the joke.
So it continued like that. We didn’t talk much between dates. We agreed to hang out for Valentines’ Day even though it was pretty early in our relationship. We said no gifts, but we just wanted to hang out. One of our inside jokes was about Marshmallow Fluff, so I decided to make us Fluff coated strawberries. I found this idea online and you coated the strawberries in Fluff and then dipped them in crushed Oreos. It seemed like it would be perfect, a sweet treat to share and an inside joke.
Well, I ended up eating them all alone because he cancelled the date. This should have been a red flag. But he blamed it on work, and how can you argue with that when the guy is a cop that has a passion for busting these sex trafficking rings? He had a great heart, and he was making progress on a case.
That’s when it really started to decline. I heard from him less, he was taking an interest in becoming an air marshall and was picking up training work. He invited me to his apartment in Virginia to make up for the fact that we hadn’t seen each other. He cooked, we were going to watch a movie we both loved growing up, and we both alluded to the fact that I was going to stay the night.
I wish I knew why things fell apart after that night. We had been dating for about two months, so it wasn’t like a one a night stand. We liked each other but not in that huge over the top kind of way. The sex was good, but not great (when is it ever great on the first time anyway?). Nothing really adds up to him ghosting me. Nor does it make any sense why I didn’t really care.
And I suppose that is where the lesson lies. Don’t have sex with a guy because you want it to fix something. It won’t. It won’t make you like someone more. It won’t make him call you more or make you want to hang out with him more. It doesn’t solve anything.