Choosing Your Reality

Have you ever taken one of those Meyers Briggs tests? I have taken a few of those online tests because I was curious if I would get the same thing. I am pretty consistently ENFJ- extroverted, intuitive, feeling, judging. One of these tests gave the percent of how much of each trait you are. Most I was well over 50%, some were very high in the 80s%. But the one that I thought was really accurate was I am only 1% extroverted.

I was actually relieved. I’ve never felt solidly extroverted. I like my alone time, I can get exhausted being around company, and I hate hosting parties. 1% sounds right. I like being social sometimes, I like being around people and having things to do and people to talk to.

So big family holidays are hard for me. My dad’s side of the family is nothing like me and they all have children. Conversation is a big effort, not only because it’s hard to find a topic but the kids make it difficult to have uninterrupted thoughts. And then my mom’s family is very close with each other and very loud. Lots of people talking on top of each other and a lot of energy. Oh, and no one listens.

So my Thanksgiving was exhausting. 2 families, 3 stops, 7 hours.  It was lovely, because I love my family. But draining. So I got a little snappy with my mom at the end of the day because my defenses were very low.

But that’s the point. We have the power to choose how we frame things and react to them.

I am a firm believer that we have to be careful about what comes out of our mouth because it can have a large impact. Not only on the person hearing it, but I think it has a bigger energy/karmic impact. It resonates. It’s putting something out in the universe.

Have you ever walked into a room when people were gossiping? Maybe they weren’t talking about you, but when you walk into that room things are negatively charged. It feels tense and awkward. Words have energy.

I try to not put that negative energy into the world. So I feel bad for snapping, I try to stick to the rule “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Because I don’t like hurting people’s feelings,and I really don’t like spreading any kind of bad energy.There is enough of that in the world already.

Choosing what you say and how you react is one way you create your reality. If you choose to react in anger than you are creating that in your reality.

You do not have to have the first reaction that comes to your mind. You do not have to be a victim of what happens to you. You have the power to react in a way that you keep your control and power.

Let me give an example. I snapped at the end of Thanksgiving, but instead I could have said to my mom I was feeling really tense.I could have given her warning that I was feeling on edge and if I snapped I would have at least warned her. I could have removed myself from the room. I could have counted to 10.

You can’t control what happens in life, but you can control how you react to it. Negative emotions create more negative emotions and it snowballs. The same with positive emotions. And I’d much rather have a snowball avalanche of positive.


2 thoughts on “Choosing Your Reality

  1. That’s so true – Negativity breeds negativity. I am getting better at switching consciously to better approaches when faced with negativity

    • I’ve noticed it takes a lot of practice, but I think I’m really starting to get better at it. I think it pays off too. And thank goodness my mom can laugh it off now when she knows I just had my buttons pushed too much.

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