In Defense Of The One Night Stand

Sometimes things are best left to just one night, they do not need a reprise to be meaningful or exactly what you need. And I’m not just talking about sex. I’m talking about the convergence of two people that meet, interact just the one time and then they part ways forever.

I met up with some friends on Halloween. I wanted to go out to experience one of the craziest parts of Baltimore at Halloween, I wanted to have a good laugh at all the foolish drunk people walking around in skimpy costumes. I went as Hit Girl from Kick Ass. Honestly, my main motivation was that I got to wear pants and comfortable boots. And a wig. Halloween was not that far after my breakup and I had  no intention of getting the post-breakup haircut. So a purple bobbed wig was a great solution.

While I was in line waiting to get in to the bar where I was meeting my friends, I started chatting with the drunk and friendly guy behind me. I couldn’t help but notice his impossibly tall and handsome Clark Kent friend.

Of course I noticed. But my intent was not to find a Halloween hookup. I didn’t want one of those stories. I was going to spend the evening laughing with my friends and I was going home after one drink.

So when the bar was incredibly packed and he offered to buy me a drink because he already got the bartenders attention. I couldn’t turn it down, but to keep things even I said I’d get the next round. He said they were only doing one drink per bar, so I’d have to join them at the next place. Ah. That’s a key sign of showing interest.

Here is where I started flirting back. After doing a shot together and I went to join my friends, we made eye contact a few times. Hard not to, he was just so tall! He came to join the conversation. By this point, I was over my idea of “just one drink.”

So my friends went home because that was their plan. I went to the next bar. And then the bar after that. We flirted and hung out all night. He tried to have me come home with him, even though “home” that night wasn’t actually home because he was crashing on his friend’s couch because it was more local. I turned him down.

The night ended with him walking me to my car, and some fun making out in the parking garage. We exchanged numbers and texted that night.

And then… nothing.

I was so sure that there would have been a follow up date when I wasn’t wearing a wig and black mask.

Holidays tend to be like a free pass for people. They use it to be a little crazier than normal, and who really knows what the real situation is. And I got exactly what I needed: reassurance that I’ve still got it even though I had gone through a breakup recently. And I went home feeling great.

That was exactly what I needed. Do I wish he had called? Sure. But sometimes things are so much better when they live in the perfect memory of a single night. It doesn’t get spoiled by us fighting or breaking each other’s hearts. It gets to remain that night that I was exactly what I wanted it to be.

Sometimes what I need is the extra bit of male attention. The guys that give their number to me, the ones that buy me a drink or talk to me a little longer than normal. It’s that nice ego boost that I probably don’t need, and maybe it’s not as healthy, but it feels so good in the moment! It’s a big rush to think “ah, this person is interested!”

Sometimes that little bit of extra attention is exactly what I need. Not all the time, just every once in a while. It can stand alone as a once in a while event.

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