I realized I have been a little breakup-centered lately. Writing is partially how I process things, and I have been processing this breakup a lot. Like I said in my video post, I think that this breakup is absolutely the right thing. But there is still a lot of lessons in this breakup and from this person.
I do believe that people are in our lives as teachers. It’s an idea from A Course in Miracles, and I like the idea a lot. I like it because it feels like nothing is a coincidence. People in our lives have a purpose. And it is all being guided by the universe.
Yeah, it is a little hippy-dippy. I’m ok with that. The idea brings me peace and that’s what matters. I like feeling like the universe is on my side. It’s like Mastin Kipp says at the Daily Love, “take what resonates and leave the rest.”
When something that is charged with so much emotion happens in my life, I tend to overanalyze it so that I can understand it. When I understand something it is easier for me to accept. So you have been party to me processing, and you have helped, too. Hearing other people’s opinions and having support from people does help a lot.
So it has now been a few weeks since the breakup. (And just one more sign that I am actually in the right place because I have no idea how many weeks. I am actually not counting. Point for me!) And I have almost being singularly-minded towards finding the next guy. Which is especially upsetting to me as I write it here in this blog- a blog I created so that we could all see how important it is to live life to the fullest no matter what a person’s relationship status is.
I had one of the best weeks last week. I got to see some amazing live music, which always lifts my spirits. And earlier in the week I spent time with a good friend who was in town. He moved to Montana to work on the trails in Glacier Park. He hiked, slept outdoors, worked hard. He would work for 10 days straight then go back to the house he shared with a group of other people doing the same thing. He lived very simply
We talked about how nice it was to be in the middle of nowhere, to work hard, to see stars at night, and to live with just necessities. He talked about how weird it was to readjust to driving in a car and having internet and cell phone service again. He showed me many of his photos from the trip, he took over 1,200. It was gorgeous and I was envious of the bare bones lifestyle.
So my buddy Joe and I met up with our other friend Dan. The three of us always would go out for these epic nights of hanging out, debating whatever was on our minds, and a lot of drinking. These boys are dear friends of mine, and I feel incredibly safe when I am with them. We have never really been interested in dating each other, so that tension just isn’t there. We get into trouble, the fun kind. Just enough that I feel a little worse for wear the next day, but I can still make it to work.
I didn’t just feel a little worse for wear physically, I felt mentally refreshed. I almost felt transformed, lifted!
What happened? What did these two guys do, other than keep passing me beer and shots, that made me feel so awesome? Something about these guys make me put down my worries and see the bigger picture. I don’t need to worry about my breakup or my lack of a relationship.
These guys go to more weddings every year than anyone I know. One has been in his relationship for 11 years and the other is steadfastly single. And it barely matters. They give me nothing but support no matter what, along with good natured ribbing. But that’s to be expected.
I no longer felt singularly focused. I had two fun-loving guys to keep up with.
There are bigger things than finding the next relationship. There are things that matter. Like friends, fun, career. Guys will come and go from my life, it doesn’t mean I am a bad person or leading an unfulfilled life. If I fill my life with things that make me happy, that is all that matters.