Letting Go Of Perfectionsism

I used to sell makeup and high quality anti-aging products through one of those businesses that does parties in people’s homes. I always thought I would be a natural for this kind of thing. I like sales, I love forming relationships with people, I loved the products. And I have big ideas for what I want my life to be. I always thought it would make sense.

At some point, I just started to dread appointments because it took me out of my home. (I am an extrovert – introvert, on a personality test I am 1% more extrovert than introvert.) Sometimes I have these extensive periods where I really want to be home, and that’s all. It’s usually in cold weather months, or when I am really busy and need to recoup.

Even though I ended up being a bit of a flop at the business, it offered a lot of business lessons. I did a lot of reading about business, and learned a lot about relationships. Part of the business model was teaching other people to do what you do and build a team. No, this isn’t a pyramid scheme. A pyramid scheme means the people that brought you in make more off of what you do than what you make. In this business model, no one ever makes nearly as much commission as you do, but your teacher makes a small commission of around 1-2% because they taught you what you know. It’s like in business when your boss makes more money than you do.

I was always afraid of asking people to look at the business. I was afraid I was going to say the wrong thing, so I just never said anything.

One of the women that trained me used to tell me “You can never say the wrong thing to the right person.”

It’s true. The right person sees potential and opportunity. They are full of excitement and hope.

This is exactly the same in life. I can often get hung up on the perfect outfit, making my hair and makeup look perfect, and showing up as the best, most entertaining and engaging version of myself. When I step foot outside of my house, I try to be perfect. If not perfect then at least presentable.

But that all goes back to my perfectionism. I have a need to be perfect, to say perfect things, to appear and present myself as perfect. I’m dealing with that and working allow myself to know that I am enough as I am and I don’t have to be perfect. I’m letting go of perfect.

And last night I had drinks with a friend. And I had my work clothes on, which wasn’t the perfect outfit I had hoped for. And I was wearing my glasses and basically no makeup. And all the polite things I had planned to ask went out the window when we started talking. I wanted to hear all about my friend’s plans for his new life as he is preparing to move. And we started talking about me, and he kept asking about some big changes in my life. And I spent way more time talking about me.

But we still had a great time. We had fun and conversation didn’t stop once. It was a great evening with a really good friend that I will miss when he moves. And I wasn’t perfect and I didn’t say the perfect things. And it didn’t matter.

None of that matters with the right person.

The right person doesn’t expect perfect. They expect you as you.

 

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