I normally tend to play things cool. Almost too cool that people sometimes don’t know how I am feeling. Not that it works for me all the time. But I don’t go off the handle, I don’t scream and pick fights, I rarely ever lose my shit. I have my shit contained and it stays that way. Most of the time.
But damn, sometimes I wish I was the crazy girl. Sometimes I wish the girl that made guys a little nervous. “What’s she going to do?? I just don’t know! I better be on my best behavior!”
I think a lot of men are attracted to a little crazy. Gosh, I don’t just think that, I know it. I’ve dated many men that look back at past relationships and say “I don’t know why I stayed so long, but it was so exciting.” I have also heard men admit they were afraid of what would happen when they would break up so they delayed breaking up.
So crazy keeps the girl in a relationship a little bit longer even though he is a little afraid of her. Sounds like horrible advice actually when you put it that way.
So I am not saying that the crazy girls are on to something when they keep people afraid of them. That is no way to live your life. In fact, please don’t take any of this as advice, that someone should behave like a crazy person in order to be happy or to have a successful relationship. But the authenticity that those people have- that they are a live wire that could go off at any moment, IS exciting and who doesn’t enjoy being around energy like that?
I think to some extent a lot people seek excitement. Especially in romantic relationships. They think that feeling of excitement, that spark, that jump in their stomach is the sign of a good relationship. It’s really just uncertainty. It’s drama. People love that stuff.
I know I am guilty of it too. I am guilty of creating drama in my head when there isn’t any in my real life. I am pretty good at getting myself worked up over nothing, just to create some feelings of excitement. The crazy girl does that naturally.
When I worked with an acupuncturist I learned a lot about the different types of people. He studied elemental acupuncture, which focused on the primary and secondary elements naturally present in each individual. There are lots of websites that explain 5 element acupuncture, but the ones that jump out at me that would be associated with a metal or firey person.
Even for someone that doesn’t know anything about acupuncture can see why a person with the element of fire would be a little dramatic and prone to anger. A metal person is incredibly sharp. I know when I imagine and picture metal I see sharp edges, perfectly polished and shiny sheets. I would imagine that combination would bring about someone that is definitely willing to let go and fly off the handle without caring what other people think.
My primary elements are earth and fire. Earthy people are extremely compassionate and feeling and sensitive. I think that side of me prevents me from being overly dramatic and crazy. But maybe I should tap into that more. If it is there, I should not hold it back. Maybe I should explore it and see if there is any truth in that feeling. It is easy if a person has mental elements because they don’t particularly have the same level of compassion and empathy for others, they are who they are unapologetically and they don’t give a shit what anyone thinks.
Maybe there is something to be learned from the attitude of not giving a shit about what people think and I should just go with the feeling. If I feel a little crazy, I should let myself be a little crazy. Why not? What’s the worst thing that can happen? Maybe I find it is as fun as it looks.
Or maybe I find it feels completely unnatural and inauthentic and I abandon it and go back to how things have been.
What is most important is that I follow my feelings. There is truth in my feelings, and I shouldn’t deny them. I shy away from the label of crazy because it seems like such a negative thing. But it doesn’t have to be negative. And there are far worse things that could be said about someone.
So maybe crazy girls are on to something, honesty. Which is funny, because I am also writing about The Cool Girl, which is completely about being dishonest. To be continued.