I am not much for social networking. I think it is time consuming. I am also likely to stalk my exes on Facebook, become obsessed reading my favorite Tweets and spend hours on Pinterest assembling perfect outfits.
But I was flipping through Pinterest the other night and found someone’s board about mental health. I read through the posts and the pictures and the quotes. And there were hundreds. But it was like I couldn’t stop. I found each quote insightful and helpful. It was the kind of board I would have created for myself.
The posts were varied from general well being to love to work to passion to taking risks… Gosh I could go on and on.
Maybe it was all the repetition of the same idea over and over. Maybe it was finally hearing the same information for the gazillionth time. Maybe it is because I am a little dense and I needed to hear all of this a thirty-bajillion times. But it all finally made sense.
If it’s a struggle, if isn’t working, if it isn’t making you light up inside, if someone is trying to get out then it isn’t right. If a guy doesn’t see your worth it isn’t because you’re not worthy. It is his loss.
Is this the purpose of Pinterest? To help thick skulled women like me read quotes until my eyes cross and finally get the right idea? I can finally say with gusto “Screw him, he didn’t know what he was walking away from and someone else that deserves me is out there!”
Is this why everyone loves social media? We connect with people across the world, read their thoughts and what they deem to be important and we feel a connection because we like the same things?
Maybe it was what I needed to see after all these years. After all these years that I have been dating these nice, great guys and I hold on to the hope that if the timing changes then things will change. Yes, I am willing to admit that out loud. These guys break up with me because the timing is bad. So time goes by, things change. I hope that maybe we can pick up where we left off, well the good part of where we left off.
It comes from this place that I believe that I have already found as good as it is going to get and I won’t find any better. I think I was happy then and maybe that is all I can expect. Maybe happiness is limited and I already hit my limit.
These things are all false. There is no limit to happiness and there is no limit to love. And if things had been right in the first place, they wouldn’t have ended.
So as I scrolled I saw that I should seek bliss, because bliss is seeking me. Things in the past should be let go, otherwise they are anchors holding me back. Don’t be afraid to let go of good to find the great. I have to be willing to let go of the things I was settling for in order to find the greatness I am seeking.
There are great memories in the relationships I had in the past. That’s what they are, memories of the past. They are not hopes for the future. My future hasn’t happened yet so I can dream bigger than I ever expected from what I have had in the past. Those are the previews of whatever is to come. Maybe what is coming is beyond what I can imagine.
There is a lyric in a favorite song that reminds me “Maybe the best hasn’t happened yet.”
Because it hasn’t. The best isn’t behind me, it is ahead of me. I will let go of the past, let go of the hopes that I had for those relationships that they would magically turn into the perfect relationship that I thought it would be. That relationship that I am imagining is out there somewhere otherwise I wouldn’t be able to have this image of what I want in my head.
There was also a pin somewhere about if you can imagine it, it can exist.