Focus On The Now

There are some times when I get a little ahead of myself. Gabby Bernstein calls it “future tripping.” It’s when you start thinking ahead of the moment, and start trying to predict and control the future. It might be imagining what a future relationship would be, or maybe you are making decisions that effect today based on possibilities for the future.

It’s getting in your head and losing the moment.

I know all the personal development books say how important it is to be in the moment. I know that the moment is all we have. The past is over. The present is unpredictable because it hasn’t happened yet.

While I write this a voice inside of me argues what’s wrong with basing hopes on the uncertain future? What’s wrong with fantasizing about what could be?

I am also a bit of a control freak. I like to try to control as much as possible in my life.   I’m being honest here. I may try to stay calm, and I do try to let go and go with the flow. Believe me, I am doing so much better than I was 5 years ago.

I know I can’t control my future. I know that. It doesn’t stop me from trying. Or from fantasizing about what my future could be. Maybe it’s a habit that I’m having a hard time breaking. Maybe it’s because I like control and I wish I could control as much as possible in my life so I could predict the outcome.

And it drives me nuts when I can’t control and predict. And it’s even worse when things don’t go the way that I expect them to. It’s beyond upsetting to me.

I’m learning to let go. It’s a struggle for me. But I know it is the right thing because it is freeing. It does feel like I really shouldn’t be the person steering the ship in the grander sense.

I do believe in a higher power. Whether that is God or the Universe or whatever is out there. I do believe that there is something bigger out there. And I believe that it conspires to work things out for the best possible result for us if we are willing to be open to it.

It makes me think of that saying from a country song “Jesus take the wheel.” Same sentiment.

Which means I have to let go and turn it over.

One of the best ways I try to do that is bring myself to the moment. Focus on the now, and only right now.

I breathe deeply.

Breathing deeply is one of the only things that brings me back to right now. It brings awareness back to my body and it makes me feel calm. It finally shuts my brain off. My over-active controlling and somewhat manipulative brain that needs to be shut off from time to time.

So I think about the future. What I have planned next weekend or weekends in the future. I start projecting things onto them. I start figuring out every moment, how I can make it perfect.

And something right now gets fucked up. It brings me back to the moment. I have to deal with whatever happened and I have to bring things back to now.

So that’s where I’m at right now. I’m trying to think of the now. How can I be here right now and make it the best it can be? How can I stay in my body and not in my head?

So I take deep breaths. A friend of mine has this practically on auto-response when I text her. And thank god. I breathe, in and out. And again, and again.

And I focus on the now.

What do you do to focus yourself?

 

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6 thoughts on “Focus On The Now

  1. I go sailing! Hard to think about anything else when you have to control the boat, keep a good look out, feel the wind in your hair and have a great time! You have to live in the moment. It is wonderful! Good luck!

    • Oh thats a good idea! I would love to learn sailing, no better feeling than being on the water. I also workout. I just started rowing on the rowing machine again, and I have to concentrate really hard to do it right and to keep myself breathing.

  2. I’m a total future tripper too. And a control freak. But don’t let the self-help books convince you that we’ve got it all wrong! I have seen many lives ruined or stalled because people were “living in the moment” and couldn’t see past their nose. They made bad choices without considering the consequences or making a backup plan. I have never seen anyone suffer for thinking ahead.

    The future may not be certain, but you have much power over it. Seize your fate and nothing – aside from random acts of God – can stop you ;D

  3. Pingback: The Best Advice I Have Ever Been Given | Single Gal Starting Over

  4. Pingback: Single Life Can Be Hell Or An Adventure. You Pick. | Single Gal Starting Over

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