Let me start with a preface. I know I have a lot of men that read this blog and rest assured that there will be no man-bashing in this post. I am merely voicing my confusion about the different ways that men and women communicate. And if you can provide guidance and the male opinion on these things please feel free to chime in.
And women, if you are also confused by men by these or any other reasons also please feel free to chime in.
Men confuse me when…
They put in a bunch of effort to get to know me and then they completely ghost. Why bother? Did you get to know me and realize you don’t like me?
I find this confusing because by this point in my life I feel like I have become a good judge of character. If I find you interesting and attractive, I feel like it is mutual. I wouldn’t put myself out there if I didn’t think it was mutual to begin with.
Yes, I realize that not everyone is going to be “in to me.” There are some people that won’t like me. But I feel like i have picked up pretty good radar for this.
And maybe my radar was on the blitz, maybe my judgement was clouded because I wanted this to solve a specific problem. And I know better than to expect a man to be an answer to any problem. I know the answer is usually within myself anyway.
Well, how about that. Maybe I solved my own confusion.
Regardless, doesn’t everyone want to be wanted to the degree that they want someone else? And perhaps my frustration is misplaced. I want to be wanted. And I feel frustrated because I do not feel wanted.
I am also confused about why men insist on dating the bad girl, the girl that brings drama wherever she goes.
And if you’re going to say that the answer is as simple as it’s the same reason why girl date bad boys I must argue against this. Bad girls and bad boys are totally different things.
I cannot explain why women date jerks anymore that I can explain why men date bad girls.
A bad girl is very different from a naughty girl. Just like a bad boy and a jerk are totally different. Bad girls and jerks leave you hanging, they manipulate, they control, they lie. The bad boys and naughty girls have fun, live passionately and spontaneously and break the rules. It is never meant to be selfish or hurtful.
So it baffles me why anyone would settle for someone with bad intentions. Someone acting from a place of total selfishness. It’s those people when they’re dating the great guy or girl and everyone around them looks at the relationship and just knows it is doomed.
Why does everyone else see it except for the person in the throes of the relationship. Just like I knew inside why a guy didn’t like me back, does the guy really know that this girl is bad for him? Is there hope that he will wake up and see it himself? And may I request that he sees it sooner rather than later??
I am also confused about why men always think they are going to break a woman. I have heard from so many of my guy friends that they avoid telling the truth because they think they are going to hurt the girl’s feelings. They are worried they are going to make her cry or she is going to make a scene.
Why do men hate a woman crying more than anything? They hate causing it and avoid it at all costs.
Maybe the intent behind it is is simply because the guy cares enough to not want to see the girl sad. Which is a nice thought. However, the avoidance of that causes a lot more pain and sadness than just telling the truth. They just don’t have to see it if they disappear.
A guy doesn’t realize that women are driven nuts by not knowing. A friend told me a story about this guy she knew that wanted to avoid the awkward breaking up conversation so much that he packed up all his stuff while his girlfriend was at work and left. Apparently last time he had the conversation with her, she cried and begged him to stay so he did. And he wanted to avoid that scene again so he left when she was gone.
I get the fact that a guy that wants to leave is just going to leave. But I feel that the universe was looking out for women because he found himself on a date with a woman that ended up having a couple drinks and ended up crying at the table because her ex boyfriend did the exact same thing. So justice was served. He still had to face the pain of leaving in the middle of the day.
So it’s unavoidable. And if the guy is doing it to avoid causing pain that they have to witness, then they are being cowardly and immature. Be a man, say what you’re thinking and let her have the peace of mind so she can move on.
Three simple things that I find utterly confusing. If you can provide insight it would be helpful. What would be even better if people could spread the word and ask men to stop doing these things and to be a little more clear.