I’m going to begin at the ending. Timmy and I rarely saw each other after we stopped dating and texting. There was some sexting once in a blue moon. I saw on Facebook that he was in a relationship and I figured that was the end of that.
Then he texted me just to say hello, how are you, what have you been up to, etc. I entertained it until it started going down the road that it always did. I put the breaks on and brought up his Facebook relationship status. He gave me a complicated story about he was doing it to make her boyfriend jealous. Sounds like a huge made up story, and I told him I wanted nothing to do with it. When he got pissed, I knew I had just caught him in his lie.
A week later he was engaged to the girl. Mazel tov.
Timmy and I met three years before that because of a set up from a mutual friend. Rarely do set-ups work out. Usually someone says “I know the perfect guy for you!” and I will smile politely and sit through the awkward set up where my friend and her husband join me and this “perfect” guy for drinks.
This time, it had looked promising. Timmy was sweet, and I wasn’t going to knock him for having a name that ended in a Y. It felt boyish, and that described him perfectly. Boyish, fun, sweet, charming. And yet he was strong and manly too, he was a train driver. Honest to god, he drove trains for a living.
He had the best hands. And we had so much fun together. We had absolutely nothing in common, but it didn’t get in the way. We enjoyed learning about each other’s worlds. His work kept him incredibly busy but we could text for hours while he was driving.
Our dates were always fun and spontaneous. I learned early on that trying to plan something with him was pointless. It always got cancelled because of work. Things got delayed, he got re-routed, he was guilted into working an extra shift.
He was in a Philadelphia hotel for a night because of work and I decided to go visit. Why not, Philly wasn’t that far. Overall it was a fun trip, but it was a last ditch effort to make something work that was never going to work.
Our spontaneous dates became so infrequent and my patience wore thin. I told him I couldn’t keep waiting for someone to appear that may never appear. I couldn’t have a relationship by text message any more, I wanted more than that.
So we stopped texting. It was sad to lose the fun distraction that I had gotten used to during my days. In those slow, bored moments it was nice to have someone that I could write to and he could make me laugh.
I think my guy friends were honestly more upset than I was. They loved hanging out with the fun and silly train driver. For me, it was a pity but I wanted so much more from a man. And his behavior when things really ended was more than the proof I needed to know I had made the right decision.