“Do you know who you are? Do you know what has happened to you? Do you want to live like this?”
Did you watch last week’s Grey’s Anatomy? I am definitely sentimental, and while some people may have hated the episode I thought it was brilliant. I can really relate to Christina’s predicament.
For those that may not be still obsessed with this show after all this time and one major trauma too many, Christina is a heart surgeon that has always had exceptional talent. She has always said she chooses surgery over everything else, she’d rather have awards than children. Her marriage ended because he wanted children and she wouldn’t compromise her career. In the last episode, we got to see two alternatives of how Christina’s life could turn out. In one life she becomes a mother of two, married to her husband who is the love of her life. She is utterly heartbroken when she presents an award she has been coveting to the intern she has been mentoring. In the other reality, she wins several awards, her husband becomes her lover and when they can’t emotionally do that anymore he chooses to destroy his life by turning to alcohol more often than a surgeon should.
It got me thinking about what my parallel lives could look like. I am ambitious, I want to creat big things and travel and have huge experiences. I wouldn’t say I am opposed to having children, but I don’t feel the pull that some of my friends do. What could my life be if I devote myself to art, creating, traveling, exploring? What would it look like if I became a mom someday?
Both of these ideas are scary to me. It would mean making a choice and doing something outside of my comfort zone. I think when we get a little scared and intimidated it is a good sign. Playing it safe is staying too small.
And the funny thing is that the fantasies of parallel lives feels like it has appropriate timing. I am dating two guys on two very different paths. One is incredibly creative, passionate and busy. The other works hard at his day job because he is a dad and it is important to him to provide safety and comfort for his son. Could I have chosen two more polar opposite guys to date?
I will say it is a lot of fun to try on both lives. I don’t know where things will go with either guy. It is way too early to tell what is in store. But it got me thinking.
What are your parallel lives? What two very different paths would you explore if you could?