What Other Path Could You Be On?

“Do you know who you are? Do you know what has happened to you? Do you want to live like this?”

Did you watch last week’s Grey’s Anatomy? I am definitely sentimental, and while some people may have hated the episode I thought it was brilliant. I can really relate to Christina’s predicament.

For those that may not be still obsessed with this show after all this time and one major trauma too many, Christina is a heart surgeon that has always had exceptional talent. She has always said she chooses surgery over everything else, she’d rather have awards than children. Her marriage ended because he wanted children and she wouldn’t compromise her career. In the last episode, we got to see two alternatives of how  Christina’s life could turn out. In one life she becomes a mother of two, married to her husband who is the love of her life. She is utterly heartbroken when she presents an award she has been coveting to the intern she has been mentoring. In the other reality, she wins several awards, her husband becomes her lover and when they can’t emotionally do that anymore he chooses to destroy his life by turning to alcohol more often than a surgeon should.

It got me thinking about what my parallel lives could look like. I am ambitious, I want to creat big things and travel and have huge experiences. I wouldn’t say I am opposed to having children, but I don’t feel the pull that some of my friends do. What could my life be if I devote myself to art, creating, traveling, exploring? What would it look like if I became a mom someday?

Both of these ideas are scary to me. It would mean making a choice and doing something outside of my comfort zone. I think when we get a little scared and intimidated it is a good sign. Playing it safe is staying too small.

And the funny thing is that the fantasies of parallel lives feels like it has appropriate timing. I am dating two guys on two very different paths. One is incredibly creative, passionate and busy. The other works hard at his day job because he is a dad and it is important to him to provide safety and comfort for his son. Could I have chosen two more polar opposite guys to date?

I will say it is a lot of fun to try on both lives. I don’t know where things will go with either guy. It is way too early to tell what is in store. But it got me thinking.

What are your parallel lives? What two very different paths would you explore if you could?

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7 thoughts on “What Other Path Could You Be On?

  1. A post that makes me go, hhhhmmmmmm. I married too young and for all the wrong reasons, it caused me to have to change everything I wanted and hoped for in life personally and professionally. I sometimes wonder what my life would look like if at certain moments that I can count on one hand I had made a different choice. I don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy but I would have found the episode fascinating.

      • It really is a few key moment in life that would send our lives in a totally different direction. I can recall how and why I asked my first wife to marry me. If my car had not broken down in the rain that night I would not have asked her to marry me, I would have put it off and our relationship was frazzled at best, we likely would have broken up and my life so different. I love my kids who are almost grown but I sometimes wonder “what if”?

      • You could have written this episode! That was the whole crux- one patient can change your life forever. Based on what happened with a patient (did he choose to live or die) Christina could have taken too different paths. You nailed it. We are products of our circumstances. Maybe that sentence should end with a question mark, I’m not sure if I believe it fully enough to be a statement.

    • I was at a cross roads not too long ago and I had two completely different lives to choose from. My husband and I separated and we both had relationships while apart. It came to the point where we thought we might reconcile and get back together. The problem was I had fallen in love with the other guy I was dating. He was on a completely different wave length than my husband. My husband was a musician and I was modeling so we were constantly traveling and we had a very fast paced life style. He was always gone and I later found out he was very unfaithful. He didn’t want children and I was ready to settle down. The other guy was a responsible go to work everyday kind of guy who was ready for a family too. I was in love with two very different men, and i was faced with choosing two different lives. One lifestyle offered travel and freedom while another one offered stability and a family. I really did not know what I wanted. I was truly truly in love with both of them and went back and forth for months. I mean i had worked very hard to build the life and career I was living. Ultimately I decided my husband and I had major issues for a long long time and there was a reason we separated in the first place. I chose stability. I feel like I made the right choice. I am in a much healthier relationship with someone who actually values and loves me. We have a nine month old daughter together now and I couldn’t be happier. Looking back now, I never want to be faced with parallel lives EVER again. It was a very tough time in my life.

      • To both you and Andi I think we will make the most of what we choose, it’s just what we do to survive. Choices are going to always come up, and in some ways we can change things at any time. I am so happy you found happiness. That sounds like a really tough decision. Each decision has the power to become bigger than we anticipate, you never know where life will take you!

  2. Boy…this made me think! When I was growing up, all I ever wanted was to get married and be a mom. I got pregnant at 17, was a single mom at 19, got married at 27 and divorced at 35. Definitely not the way I planned my life. But now, I am enjoying (to a point) singlehood. I struggle between my domesticated life and my living it up life.

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