I was out with a guy friend the other night. We aren’t incredibly close, meaning we don’t have many heart to heart conversations. After a few beers, I was sharing a story about a guy I dated who was very insecure and I left the dating wondering where the Rhett Butler were. Apparently this struck him as funny. “What did that mean?” he asked. Did I have an unrealistic expectation of the way men should sweep women away, and was I going to be whiny and manipulative?
I am no Scarlett O’Hara, I don’t want to be. I’m probably more Melanie than anything. But that’s not what I mean. I want a man that looks at me and declares with certainty, That woman- I will be with THAT woman. And my friend got it. It made sense to him.
And the more I thought about it afterwards the more true that statement became. I want a guy that knows without a doubt that I am special enough to want to be around me, that he doesn’t hide in work and projects. Because my ex and I work together we have been running into each other more often. And while there is this fantastic connection, and we miss each other, and we make each other laugh and we can talk about anything- he is not Rhett Butler. He does not say- “you, don’t leave, I want you to be around and I want to be around for you.” He just doesn’t do that.
And I know with absolute certainty that there will be a guy that does that without me having ask or prompt him. A guy that chooses me, without hesitation. A guy that can’t imagine being without me.
But right now, it feels hard. It feels lonely, I feel like that is so far away and why can’t this great guy just freakin step up to the plate? And I know that I can’t manipulate or control the situation. I know to trust that The Universe has a bigger plan in store for me more than I can imagine right now. And I have to know that if this guy is great but not ready to step up, there is a guy that is even better that will come and sweep me off my feet.