Have Faith And Risk Having Nothing For Awhile

There is a principle in A Course in Miracles that says one that has certainty can afford to wait, and wait with patience.

It is hard being single sometimes because it feels like I am just “between boyfriends.” As if it was a job. Like I’m currently unemployed but I don’t want to really admit that outloud so I say I’m between jobs.

But the thing that makes it less hard is faith and certainty. I know enough happily married couple to know that it is possible to find love and that I will. I know couples that I would consider soul mates and in a perfectly healthy relationship. Although, that number is pretty small. I know other couples that maybe aren’t soul mates but they are really happy. I believe that you can be happy living your life with someone you love, and it doesn’t have to be a soul mate. It doesn’t have to be perfect.

I am absolutely certain that there will be a relationship that is perfect for me someday. And I refuse to settle for less.

And maybe that is what it takes. To know with absolute certainty that there will be something makes this time feel less hard.

It’s a contradiction actually. Yes, it’s hard because I am a normal human being and I want it now! Can’t I rush deliver it? But knowing that I will have it eventually does make the wait feel less tedious.

I am the type of person that would rather just have nothing than have a place holder. I don’t want a relationship that I don’t like or enjoy very much just to hold the place until I find something I like more. I don’t fool myself into thinking that I am happy when I am really not. I prefer to be honest with myself. If I’m not happy, I won’t stick around.

I don’t have doubts about a future relationship. And I guess that’s faith, right? Knowing that there is something out there, but without any real proof.

If you are having trouble with the same thing, feeling like you’re stuck waiting without much on the horizon maybe you can borrow some of my faith. You’re here right now, and that’s perfect. And know that there will be something someday, and that will be the perfect thing at the perfect time not a minute sooner or later than it’s supposed to be.


4 thoughts on “Have Faith And Risk Having Nothing For Awhile

  1. Very happy to have found your blog! Have thoroughly enjoyed reading it since it sounds as if we have traveled this same path. I am currently on a dating sabbatical while I regroup. 🙂
    It was great to see you reference Marianne Williamson. “Our Deepest Fear” is an absolute favorite of mine. “You playing small does not serve the world” are beautiful words to live by. 🙂

  2. “I am absolutely certain that there will be a relationship that is perfect for me someday. And I refuse to settle for less.”

    Two thoughts:

    1. First impression – the right person.

    2. Later impression – see imperfections.

    There is a right person out there for everyone. The danger is in 2. above, re-thinking what you knew was true in 1.

    It is better to try at that which seems imperfect than to reject all that isn’t perfect all the time. Are you perfect? So why do you think that “perfect” person is perfect? It is better to try and fail than fail to try. 🙂

    I walked into a bar over a quarter of a century ago and met my perfect person. I have struggled with that but have never forgot the first and most true impression. Yes, many things about her have angered me, but in the final analysis she was always the person I wanted to hold the door open for. 🙂 (more than meets the eye there).



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