Before You Call Your Ex, Read This

I am writing this post from a place of tough love and because I have been there.

When you are single, you get to make all kinds of choices. And you get to do it all on your own. Sometimes that’s the absolute best. I get stoked when I don’t have to check in with a boyfriend about where I’m going to go or what I’m going to do. If I wanted to move out of state, I don’t have a boyfriend to worry about. It’s a lot of freedom and I love it.

But there are times that I wish I had that person that understands me completely so they can help me through the decision making process. I miss that person that is on my side and rooting for me no matter what. And sometimes what I want to do is reach out to one of my exes, get them to root for me again because I know they would.

So now I’m stuck with another decision. Do I call him? There aren’t feelings there anymore, but I know he would support me if I needed it.

Sometimes I get that gut feeling like I should reach out to an ex. When that happens and I ignore it, somehow the universe puts him in my path anyway. And when we talk, we realize we both nearly called the other person for something important. Those are times when we are are in touch with our intuition and we know very clearly what to do. It’s like a beacon of light. And it feels right.

And then there are times when it is not clear. When nothing is feeling right or absolutely wrong.

Those are the times when we want to use logic and our brains to think through. And I am here to tell you, whatever you do right now do not use logic. It’s better to not do anything at all.

When you don’t know what to do, do nothing.

I promise a moment of clarity will come.

When you try to use reason and logic to get through something, you will often be led astray. Logic will tell you what makes sense. It’s great if you need a pro/con list if you’re making a decision about work or finances. Logic works there. Where logic will never work is in matters of the heart.

Logic usually tells me to never call my ex. Never, ever. But I have these moments of intuition when it says that I should. On a few occasions I follow that impulse, and it turns out for the best. When I was dumped horribly, I called an ex from college. We went out for dinner and pie, and I laughed harder than I had in a month. It was perfect medicine. I knew that someone cared about me, even if it felt like my heart was broken.

Sometimes it’s ok to call an ex. Most of the time we want to call that person because we want them back. We’re reaching for someone that doesn’t really want to be there. Sometimes it’s because we’re hurting and we think having them back will make us hurt less. We call because we miss him, we’re lonely, we’re feeling powerless. Those are all reasons to not call. Don’t call because logically it seems right.

You can call because you gut says you have to, your intuition says it’s the right thing to do right now. But unless you get that distinctive gut feeling, don’t do anything. Hang tight.

wine

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6 thoughts on “Before You Call Your Ex, Read This

  1. Thanks for posting Parker. It is definitely hard sometimes, especially in moments where we feel particularly lonely. Maybe pause, and ask yourself why you’re calling, and is the best person? I usually set up a system with a friend that I know won’t judge when I call her and say “I’m calling you so I don’t call him!”

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