Why Don’t We Say Hello??

We all have those moments. In a coffee shop, in the grocery store, or wherever you are out and about doing your thing but not really there to have a conversation with new people. It just happened to me. I’m in a Starbucks, reading. A cute guy walks past once, we politely smile. He walked by a second time, and we made deliberate eye contact and gave each other a big smile.

Neither of us said hello. Neither of us made any kind of move. I suppose I could have gotten up to get a packet of sugar or something, made a move towards him when he was at the station with the cream and sugar. But I didn’t.

It’s another Missed Connection. I supposed there is a reason this has beeN a staple in personal columns in newspapers and on Craigslist.

But I don’t want a missed connection. I want an actual connection.

I have no problem being bold and starting a conversation with a stranger. I talk to people at bars and concerts all the time. I chat to my barista and the cashier. Why can’t I say hi to the cute guy I made eye contact with?

Is it really a fear of rejection? I’ve been rejected enough times in my life to know that the sting doesn’t last any longer than a bee sting. There isn’t even any swelling or redness!

Can I blame that the situation would have to be forced a little? How does a guy really approach someone engaged in their book? And to talk, I’d have to make up a reason to go over to him. So? I’ve done worse. I’ve driven over an hour to see a crush’s band play, only to realize that he has a girlfriend. Oops.

I have flirted and complimented men that are married or have girlfriends. And either I make their day by giving them a little attention, or they politely let me know they are taken and I laugh off the awkward situation. No harm, no foul.

So, here I sit. Whining about the cute man I made eye contact with and did nothing about. I could say that I’ll do better next time but I rarely talk to anyone in Starbucks unless we happen to be in line together. I am more frustrated that I let a situation dissolve without giving it a chance to be anything. I suppose I could be romantic and day it is the kind gesture of two people smiling at each other, and oh isn’t that nice? But I see it as a missed opportunity that I wish hadn’t been missed.

Has anyone else had this happen and been frustrated by it? Has anyone actually connected with someone on Missed Connections, and how did it go?


8 thoughts on “Why Don’t We Say Hello??

  1. I’ve definitely been in this situation and I think a big part of the problem is the tendency to over-think and also to only think about all the possible negative outcomes of the interaction. I think as humans it’s normal to be afraid of being vulnerable by taking the initiative.

  2. I don’t have a problem initiating the conversation, I have a problem with actually asking a girl out. I will tell one she’s cute, compliment her on something she’s wearing, etc. I have no problem talking them up just never really seems to go anywhere. Oh well. I guess I’ll learn one day or just forever remain single haha.

  3. Just yesterday I was waiting for my order of koeksisters (spicy syrupee connut covered donut type things) and rather pretty woman came to stand in the queue… We smiled at each other. And then my order arrived, and I was rushing off to deliver them.

    Sigh! A lost opportunity or just me allowing time to dictate my actions. I could have said, “Hello, my names EMil… I’m in a rush right now, but how about we share a couple koeksisters next week? Same time?”

    Sometimes, its just to say Hello, and let the rest do what ever it will.

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