We all have those moments. In a coffee shop, in the grocery store, or wherever you are out and about doing your thing but not really there to have a conversation with new people. It just happened to me. I’m in a Starbucks, reading. A cute guy walks past once, we politely smile. He walked by a second time, and we made deliberate eye contact and gave each other a big smile.
Neither of us said hello. Neither of us made any kind of move. I suppose I could have gotten up to get a packet of sugar or something, made a move towards him when he was at the station with the cream and sugar. But I didn’t.
It’s another Missed Connection. I supposed there is a reason this has beeN a staple in personal columns in newspapers and on Craigslist.
But I don’t want a missed connection. I want an actual connection.
I have no problem being bold and starting a conversation with a stranger. I talk to people at bars and concerts all the time. I chat to my barista and the cashier. Why can’t I say hi to the cute guy I made eye contact with?
Is it really a fear of rejection? I’ve been rejected enough times in my life to know that the sting doesn’t last any longer than a bee sting. There isn’t even any swelling or redness!
Can I blame that the situation would have to be forced a little? How does a guy really approach someone engaged in their book? And to talk, I’d have to make up a reason to go over to him. So? I’ve done worse. I’ve driven over an hour to see a crush’s band play, only to realize that he has a girlfriend. Oops.
I have flirted and complimented men that are married or have girlfriends. And either I make their day by giving them a little attention, or they politely let me know they are taken and I laugh off the awkward situation. No harm, no foul.
So, here I sit. Whining about the cute man I made eye contact with and did nothing about. I could say that I’ll do better next time but I rarely talk to anyone in Starbucks unless we happen to be in line together. I am more frustrated that I let a situation dissolve without giving it a chance to be anything. I suppose I could be romantic and day it is the kind gesture of two people smiling at each other, and oh isn’t that nice? But I see it as a missed opportunity that I wish hadn’t been missed.
Has anyone else had this happen and been frustrated by it? Has anyone actually connected with someone on Missed Connections, and how did it go?