A good friend called me a while back so that we could reconnect and hang out. When you receive a call like that, you think about a few different things. You wonder what inspired her to reach out. You are excited to hear from someone from your past. You worry that something is wrong.
I had spent the weeks before this call trying to help a friend hold things together after a messy break with her boyfriend. I felt really drained. Honestly, I knew I couldn’t do it for another person if that was what she was looking for. I was all tapped out on compassion and understanding.
But I met with her anyway, maybe it wasn’t something devastating that she was going through.
Oh, but it was. It sooooo was. And it had my other friend topped in the potential drama department. But the reason why this friend reached out to me was because she was pulling herself out of the woods. She did the mourning and depression and decided enough was enough. It was time to be around the people that made her happy. So she called me.
First, what a compliment! Second, I was so proud of her for knowing that was what she needed. She knew to surround herself with other people that would make her feel good. Not the ones that would depress and drain her, to help her to wallow or feel sorry for herself. Not the ones that would say the answer lay in the bottom of a wine bottle, so drink up! She’s been calling the ones that lift her spirits.
We sat for well over an hour and a half and we laughed and we talked about our lives and hobbies and interests. It was one of the more full and enriching coffee dates that I’ve had with a friend in a long time. For once, the focus isn’t on men or boys or dating or woes. Although that does come up, it wasn’t our focus.
I thought that this woman was so empowered and moving in the right direction. I had to share her story. It is so simple and so effective.
When it comes to business they tell you to choose your friends wisely because you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. This principle is trying to tell the budding entrepreneur to pick your friends wisely, hang out with successful people so your mind expands and you can learn! It’s a little cheesy, but it’s true. And it works in your life too.
If you surround yourself with negative people, you will start to feel more negative. Your outlook will change, guaranteed. But if you are around people that lift you up and look at the world differently, you will expand. And that is exactly what she was doing.
I don’t know if she reads my blog or not, and if you are, dear friend- hello!! Congrats to you for doing something brave and helpful to yourself, and thank you for inspiring me!
When things get tough, reach out to someone. Look back at your past and ask yourself who did you feel the most “you” around? Who made you feel really happy? Who inspired you? Who really listened and cared? Call that person and say hello. Meet for coffee. My friend took a risk to reach out, I could’ve said I was too busy (although, that’s not who I am. I am never too busy. But she did catch me at a time when my energy was exceptionally low and I could’ve blown her off.) or ignored her or thought she was weird. But she risked it and got an evening of laughter and companionship- and isn’t that always worth the risk?