I noticed a pattern when I’m single. I noticed that there is definitely a pattern in the guys that I date before I find a relationship. For better or for worse, these are the guys.
- The Guy That Is Totally Wrong For You
I usually know I’m fooling myself, I’m fully aware. And I think by now my friends know that, so I stopped getting questioned when I date the guy that’s 7 years younger than me and has no clue what he’s doing with his life. They appreciate that he’s adorable and gush with me about how hot he is. Then we move on, and change topics.I probably don’t sleep with this guy because I know that would be a waste of time. But I go out with him a few times, maybe drink a little more than I should, and have a lot of fun.I don’t know why I always end up dating this guy. It’s not like I ever see potential here for long term happiness. Maybe I’m lonely. Maybe I think that I should try dating outside my “type” to see if I’ve been wrong all this time (Spoiler alert: I’m not). Maybe I want the male attention and he’s an easy target. Regardless, this guy lasts usually 3-4 dates tops before we get bored.
- The Nice Guy You’re Not Ready For
I hate this one. This one makes me feel like a bad person.This guy is so nice. Too nice. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough for him, because I normally walk over him because he lets me. This guy does nothing wrong, other than trying to show me that he cares. Unfortunately he has caught me at a bad time when I’m not ready. I’m still being a rebellious punk, enjoying singleness and maybe just starting to dip my toe back into the water.If he met me later, who knows. Maybe it would have worked out to have lasted longer. Or not. But I never get the opportunity to properly explain that he is so nice, he should stop wasting his time on a girl that crushes his confidence because she’s not ready. It isn’t you, it really is me. Really.
- The One With Potential, But It Doesn’t Quite Fit
This guy always has a fond spot in my heart. I look back on our relationship because it wasn’t ruined by either of us being cruel to each other, or using each other. It just wasn’t a fit, but we had fun while it lasted.It’s easy to spot this guy. The dates are good, the making out is hot. But something doesn’t click into place all the way. Maybe you can’t put your finger on it, but you’re totally aware of the fact that this will probably burn hot and fast, and then it’ll be over.These guys are really fun, I just remember to not take them seriously as potential partners. That’s they key. Do not mistake him for something he’s not, and then everyone can still have fun.
- The Hookup That You Think Is More
Let’s get real. I slept with this guy too fast because he is hot and the chemistry was off the charts. So maybe I wanted to atone for my sins by trying to make a relationship out of nothing.If only I could just accept the fact that it’s hot sex. But no. I try to fool myself into thinking hot sex is supposed to happen with a relationship. This guy is not boyfriend material. This guy doesn’t even want to be boyfriend material.Sometimes I have the hot sex just for the sake of hot sex. But usually my typical mistake is to make it messy. And then no one is happy in the end.
- The Nice Guy You Are Ready For
This one is rare. This one comes when I don’t expect it, but I am completely ready for it. I dealt with the bullshit, and now I am fed up and only interested in something real.This relationship reveals itself only with patience and an open heart (and mind). It’s not usually what I am expecting- maybe he doesn’t look like I want him to, or he doesn’t have the perfect job or hobbies. But the feeling is right. I feel happy and we seem to fit together easily.In the past when I have found this guy, the timing is right for the relationship but I am not quite ready for “the one.” I see this in hindsight. So we date, we have a fantastic time, and when the time comes to end things it happens. And then I am devastated and heartbroken, and when I begin dating this whole process begins again.
See, isn’t dating a ton of fun???