Single And Just Fine

Last night the Northeast got hit with a snow storm. In Baltimore where I live, we got enough snow to get in the way, and it froze everywhere overnight. So we all get a snow day, we get to enjoy a beautiful snow day.

The trees are covered in snow and ice. It crunches under your feet when you walk. It’s quiet. And it’s lovely.

There is a small part that spends a moment imagining what it would be like to have a man to share that with. Or, when I was driving in the crazy weather last night I wondered who would I call if I needed help?

But, that part is actually really small. The bigger part of me gets excited that I can handle driving through crappy conditions alone. And if I have a problem, that’s why I have AAA.

As a single woman, you have to know how to take care of yourself. You have to have your wits about you. And I have learned how to keep it together. Here are some of the ways I have managed to be Single and Just Fine.

  1. Be confident and know what you can handle. 
    I got over my jumpiness around bugs really fast when I was the only one to get rid of them. I can make minor repairs around my house, like fixing the toilet and hanging pictures or shelves. I can cook well enough. There are certain things that I may not have been good at, but I knew I was the only one to do them so I had to step up. I looked at it as a challenge or as something fun.

  2. Ask for help and know who to go to. 
    I have a car guy to ask for help. I have a tax guy. I have a network of people because I know I have limits, even when I look at learning new things as a fun challenge. I know that sometimes it does take a village, and I need to get over my pride and ask for help. It’s not always easy, and, to be honest, I’ve been really bad about asking for help lately. But it’s important to know one’s limits. 
  3. Create a LIFE. Hell, create an empire if you want it.
    Guess what! A single person has the ability to do whatever they want! They have no husband or baby tying them to a place where they need to go. You don’t have to check in with someone at night, so you can do whatever you want with your evenings. You can make last minute plans, you can travel, you can try new things and experiment. Your life is yours for the making. When I feel a little down, I remind myself that when I am single the world is my oyster, something I wrote in a note in my phone after a breakup. It’s all open, and ready to be explored. Look at Oprah. Could anyone else be more inspirational for what a single woman could create with her life? 
  4. Relish your solitude and celebrate YOU.
    I’m right when I start thinking that there is no guy here with me to tell me how great I am. So I know I better be the one to tell myself that I’m wonderful because I can’t rely on anyone else to. Being alone means that I can take notice of all the cool parts of who I am. As if you need a reason to celebrate, celebrating who you are is a damn good reason. 

Some people see being single as a death sentence. They don’t know what to do when faced with being alone. They think that being alone is just a time to wait until you can be with someone else. As in-between.

I choose to see it as a time to discover who I am and to find all the great things that life has to offer.  I can really take the time to find what I want, what I need. Without feeling rushed or pressured by someone else in my life. I am me, and I love who I am.

“Say to yourself ‘I’m talented. I’m strong. I’m a masterpiece. I’m one of a kind.'” – Joel Osteen

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