It’s the day after Christmas. Presents have been given, the sweets have been devoured, and the family has come and gone. What remains is the torn wrapping paper,the leftover sweets (and the bellyache after eating too many) and a house that was once full but is now empty.
The Day After Christmas can feel exceptionally lonely. We’re riding off of a high of good feelings and cheer. Love for everyone! Love is all around!
But then what do you do when that’s all gone? How do you cope?
For me, I felt some tinges of jealousy this year. My cousins are all in happy relationships (when and how did that happen??) and my friends are all married or in long term relationships. And for me? I was dog sitting, so I couldn’t even sleep at my mom’s. I had to be alone with a puppy that needed to be crated for sleep. No cuddling for me.
So this question was particularly relevant. It is so easy to focus on what I don’t have. To focus on the relationship I wish I had to cuddle me at night. About the date I wish I had for New Year’s Eve. Hell, I wish I had any plans for New Year’s even if I was planning on purposefully doing nothing and staying home.
But how do you deal? What do you do?
For me it was as simple as saying I’ll sleep on it. If I still feel awful in the morning then I can start worrying about a strategy to feel better. Last night I felt awful, I felt low. I also had a killer cold so it was easy to go to bed early and to sleep late.
Today, I don’t feel so bad. I do still have some of the nasty cold lingering, but I’m not feeling as awful about being lonely. I think what is important to take away is that these feelings will always pass if we let them go and do not stress about them.
Bad feelings are the most important feelings to let go of. And the most difficult. These are the ones that we try to hold on to and try to figure out how to fix. But the more we do that the longer they linger and the feelings may even get worse.
It is another example of the power of letting go of control. I’m not great at it. When I am in a situation that feels new or unfamiliar or that I do not feel confident in myself. All I know is that I need to breathe. Deep breathing, and then I focus and just do my best. Sometimes my best is nothing.
And that’s ok, too.