It was bound to happen. You go to a fabulous party, and there he is- your ex. You panic and lose your breath for a second.
He’s across the room, and you make eye contact. You smile politely and he smiles back. You have enough time before he gets to you across the room to entertain a fantasy of running out the front door, of smacking him upside the head with the ladle for the egg nog, and to grab the cute guy by the bar and smacking a big kiss on his lips.
Sadly, you snap back into reality in just enough time to get your senses before he greets you with a big hello and the obligatory hug. You know the kind, it’s awkward because it’s not a full on embrace. It’s the kind where you both stick your butts out and you slap each other on the back.
So how do you survive this encounter while keeping your grace and sanity? Here are a few tips that I would recommend.
- If there is any chance that you might run into him at a party, do not over-imbibe. Ever. Drinking makes you too confident- you think bad ideas are great ones. You lose your good sense. You may say or do things you regret.
- Keep it brief, if you do decide to talk to him. It’s probably better to bite the bullet and have the conversation to acknowledge that you saw each other. Then get on with your night and enjoy the fabulous company of the people you are with.
- Have an exit strategy. Ask a friend for help, you could even create a code word that would let them know you need help. My friends are all lovely enough to let me blame them if I need an excuse to leave. Sometimes you just need a way out, and a partner in crime to help you with that.
- Don’t overthink it. Any of it. Don’t overthink your perfect outfit or how you look. It doesn’t matter, you look fabulous because it’s a holiday party and you’re having fun. Don’t stress over what you should say or what you did say. Or what you wish you would have said. There is probably no perfect conversation to have here, so it’s better to just move on and leave it in the past.
- Have fun. Not in that way that you are trying to make him jealous. But genuinely have fun. Try to forget that he’s there and enjoy yourself. Eat delicious food, laugh with your friends and enjoy the season.
Try to not let the fear of running into an ex dictate how you celebrate during your holiday season. go to the parties that you want to go to, and don’t let him get in the way of that. It’s your life, you can’t go around avoiding situations that may put the two of you together for the rest of your life.
Just like most difficult situations, it is best to confront it head on and then move on. You’ll have more fun that way, and that is what it is all about!