Why is every Lifetime Christmas movie about finding some single woman true love? WHY, I demand. Why?!
Even the ones about women that are driven and career minded. They’re only that way because they are loney, so they are also grumpy, frigid bitches. And then they find love and they have fun again. Yay, hooray, puppies and rainbows forever. All is right in the world!
I have been single for the holidays, I have dated guys during the holidays, and honestly it’s been a while since Santa put a long term relationship under my tree (I seriously do not mean that as a euphemism). That was an awesome holiday, but mainly because it was spent doing old school traditional celebrations like baking and listening to John Denver and the Muppets. It was nice. But I do that on my own anyway, or with my own family and friends, not someone else’s.
I don’t want to turn this into a discussion about being single or dating during the holidays, that’s another post I have planned. What I have on my mind today is Lifetime and their holiday movie marathons.
I love holidays movies. I love the cheesiest of them, and the predictability, and the cheer that it helps to spread. I watch the same movies every year, and the list has barely changed since I was old enough to work the VCR: How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph, Frosty, A Muppets Christmas (my sister hunted this down on DVD for me- best gift ever!), and Christmas on Sesame Street. I am a child at heart, and prefer the childhood classics to the adult favorites. I’m not big on Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story, Elf, or any of the other slapstick-oriented Christmas movies. Give me short and sentimental and I’m happy.
You’d think I would flip for these Lifetime movies! They should be right up my alley! And they are…but they’re not. There are obviously some patterns and stereotypes that I’m not thrilled about.
Let me be logical about this, and air my grievances in a semi-organized pro-con list. I would do a Venn diagram and go really old school on this, but I have no clue how to incorporate it.
- You get nuggets of wisdom like this “Christmas comes once a year. But th right person comes once in a lifetime.”
- The predictability means you will always get a happy ending. And sometimes I need that. Sometimes I want to hear that there is a happy ending. Or at least pretend that there is for a little while.
- The men are almost always handsome and drool-worthy. Eye candy is always on my wish list.
- I am a sucker for being reminded that you need to have a little faith.
- I love the fantasy of falling in love during snowfall.
- It is kinda fun to see actresses that used to be on TV shows I loved. No more wondering what happened to…
- I admit it. I like escaping into the silly stories and the fantasy romance.
There. I said it.
On that embarrassing note, let’s get down to the Cons.
- Let me just say it, the women are usually wimps. They are always a little depressed, down-trodden, and they let their loneliness shine through every aspect of their life. Not exactly what I want to have shining through as a single, independent woman. Once they are in the relationship then suddenly all their problems are fixed! Sorry, Lifetime, it ain’t that easy…
- the ones that aren’t wimps are bitches and grinches. So many of these movies are about the woman who is so focused on her career, she doesn’t see the sweet hot guy. Or she sees him as an obstacle standing between her and success. THEn her definition of success changes and she no longer works so hard and she falls for the guy instead. Why can’t there be more balance? Why can’t she still want the career? Or why does the career have to make her the frigid bitch in the first place? A woman can want a rewarding career and it doesn’t turn her into an evil snow queen.
- Sadly there are only so many story lines to go around so you end up seeing the same thing over and over again. There’s the gift of the Magi, A Christmas Carol, gal down on her luck that turns it all around thanks to Christmas Magic. Um. I think that might be it.
- It distorts my reality. I get sucked into this fantasy life and then I have no man trying to sweep me off my feet, no ex coming back from the past to confess his love because of Christmas, no magic money falling from Santa’s bag to help me turn the situation around. Where do I find this??
My list of pros is obviously longer than the cons, even though the cons are weighted more heavily. But the pros are what keep me coming back, they keep me watching. And dreaming and hoping. Which is part of what the season is all about.
What are you thoughts on holiday movies? What are your favorites, and why? Does anyone else feel torn about holiday movies? Let me know your comments below!