Rise Above The Easy Way

It’s easy to talk tough. It’s even easier to mope, feel sorry for yourself.

The hard part? Rising above it.

Rising above it means pushing aside the bullshit and the pettiness. It means there is something more, something deeper than the superficial, on-the-surface appearance of things.

I’m a Cancer astrologically, but more than that I know that I take things to heart. I deeply feel my emotions. I should stress the word deeply. I fall in love deeply, and I take my heartaches like the deepest of wounds.

Sometimes I find that it is most important to remember that whatever is happening right now is just a blip on the screen of life.

Lately my trick to rise above it is to ask myself if this will be important 5 minutes, 5 weeks and 5 years from now. That’s a small trick that puts things into perspective quickly.

However, it doesn’t always work in my favor. Sometimes I play that little mind trick, and I say it won’t matter so I act on my impulse. Because it won’t matter in 5 weeks or years. But the part that the trick leaves out is that GAO of time between 5 minutes and 5 weeks.

For me, if I have gotten into an emotional state, good or bad, my mind is stuck like a broken record. I keep playing it over in my head again and again up until the point when I don’t. At some point in the future it just stops, not because I’ve done anything but because it just does.

And that’s where I am today. Stuck on repeat, wondering what I can do to set things straight. The One That Got Away contacted me, wanted to tell me he’s been thinking of me and wanted to get together. It didn’t happen. It hasn’t been rescheduled.

I know the logical thing to do is to forget him. His actions say he doesn’t want to see me. But the pull of what we once had is so strong even after it’s been so long. Even after I’ve dated other guys.

I guess I’m a hopeless romantic. Or just hopeless?

So I’m working on practicing rising above. But I’d much rather take the easy route and call him, or jump into bed with some guy to take it off my mind. Instead, I write, I try to learn, I meditate and reflect.

I can’t say it’s easy. I can’t even tell you how it all turns out.

i’ll keep you posted, though.

And for the sake of keeping you posted? That guy I was going to ask out? He just proposed to his girlfriend of five years. Oh well!

i apologize for any typos, I’m on my iPad and will correct them once I am home.

5 Friends Every Single Gal Needs

Our friends are what get us through the toughest of times and also are the ones that are by your side laughing until you practically pee your pants. When you’re single you realize how vitally important these friends are. Your friends become your family, and there are certain people that make the ride even better. Here’s my list of the friends a gal needs to keep sane, keep having fun, and living life to the fullest.

1. The wiser friend that has already been there and done that. It may be a parent, it may be on older friend who has already seen the many ups and downs in life. Sometimes, it helps to have someone that can put it all in perspective. They can give you hope that where you are today is only temporary. Maybe your life will be full of adventure if you always remain single. Maybe you will find love when you least expect it. They tell it as it is, and show you honestly what their life was like, and maybe you can learn from it.

2. The friend that is up for anything, whether it is going for a wild happy hour to pick up men or to make a spontaneous road trip to Atlantic City just for kicks. This gals keeps you on your toes! Be ready for anything, and maybe be prepared with lip gloss and your contact case in your car, just in case it becomes a wild night.

3. The kind, patient friend that will listen and give advice without judgement. This buddy is the one you call first when you’re heart broken and you just need a shoulder to cry on. She is always sweet, and only gives advice when asked. She tells you what you need to hear, whether it’s a speech to make you feel better, trash talking the bastard that broke your heart, or just a quiet smile while handing you chocolate.

4. A platonic make friend. Maybe he’s straight but you have no interest in romantically or maybe it’s your gay best friend. But the make perspective is necessary. He sets you straight when you’re spinning like crazy, and shakes your senses back. Besides, sometimes the only way to understand men is to ask a man. Might as well have someone on your side.

5. The unexpected friend. It’s that person in your life that either brings out an unexpected side in you or they encourage the side that you are afraid to show other people. They are understanding and maybe just as weird as you are. They feel safe, but not in a boring way. You can trust this person. It also let’s you escape when you’re feeling blue and bummed, you can retreat into a place that feels fun.

My friends get me through think and in, and I am really lucky to have a diverse group of awesome people to stand by my side. Friends are incredibly important, otherwise there wouldn’t be so many quotes, poems and stories about the power of friendship. Thank you to all my friends that support me through it all!

Tips For Asking A Guy Out On A Date

I used to be very good at it. I didn’t care about getting rejected, and I had no problem putting myself out there.

When did I become such a chicken? When did I get so tripped up over my own tongue?

It is as if I have developed the Yips. (I tried to find a clip of this from How I Met Your Mother, but there wasn’t anything other than the full episode. Basically, the womanizing character Barney gets so thrown off his game that he trips over his words and he can’t pick up women.)

I was never suave, but my past two attempts were muddled and shameful.

They always say we teach what we have to learn, so I decided to look back at what I used to do to talk to guys, and share my top tips here.

Part of what really trips me up about asking a guy out on a date is that I am naturally a little aggressive, and I do want to respect that a guy should be the pursuer. I don’t want a guy that will wait for me to do everything, I do want to be pursued. That being said, I think that there are times when I need to express what I want, and help the process on a little bit.

The other thing that trips me up troubles both sexes no matter who you are asking out- the fear of rejection. This part never used to bother me. I used to tell myself that at least the person would be flattered for me expressing interest, and I would know a definite answer instead of wondering What if?

But lately I’ve been a chicken or totally inarticulate and awkward. I lost my mojo!

Time it get it back:

  1. Smile. Everyone is attracted to a smile, no matter what. it makes the other person feel at ease, and I bet they return the smile. Which will make you feel better and more relaxed.
  2. Be yourself. I know everyone says this for every situation. But it’s true. If you’re not a person that can make witty or funny comments, or you find it hard to give a genuine compliment without sounding like you want something, then I am not going to advise you to do it. Be who you are. That’s who you want them to be attracted to anyway.
  3. Relax. Do a little deep breathing and stay calm. There is nothing that you need to stress about. Besides, now is not the time to do shallow breathing and go into Fight or Flight mode. Neither of those two would go over well in this scenario.
  4. Be direct. Men respond to directness, so don’t beat around the bush. Get straight to the point and ask for what you want. Do you want to get to know him better? Do you want to meet in a dark bar For drinks? Do you want to go out and have fun doing something like a hike or bowling? Just say it, you’ll get more respect.
  5. Be quiet. After you have expressed what you want, be quiet and wait for a response. The fewer words the better, you don’t want to keep babbling out of nervousness, and then he never has an opportunity to answer you.
  6. If the outcome is less than what you expected, shrug it off. It wasn’t meant to be, no need to longer over it. Chalk it up as you doing something bold and sassy and that is always a success. Go celebrate that.
  7. if he agrees, get his number and organize the details. Save your happy dance for when you’re alone.

Fellas, what did I miss? what should girls do to ask you out? Do you like it when a girl makes the first move, or is it a turnoff?

And gals, what tips do you have? Or motivating and inspiring words to help me get over my Yips and ask out my crush?

Waiting Is Overrated

I just read The Single Woman, the book published by the Twitter sensation Mandy Hale, a.k.a. The Single Woman. She wrote a section about Waiting. She refers to it as a waiting season.

I like that idea, it means it’s a passing phase. We’re all waiting for someone, some job, some phone call, some vacation, etc, she says. I agree, it does feel like you’re always waiting for something.

And I say, screw that.

For the very reason that you could be waiting forever for something, while missing everything around you.

Mandy Hale argues that we are waiting because it’s something we’re not ready for yet. That it is a time of preparation.

When I first read it, I agreed with it. But I have to completely disagree now. If you are in a season of preparation, it’s called winter. Inter is the time when everything is in a period of hibernation and preparing to bloom in spring. Winter isn’t about waiting, you enjoy winter for what it is.

In winter, the sun sets early so you get extra rest. The cold nights mean you get to have fun evenings indoors in front of the fire. You enjoy stews and hot tea and roasted foods. (yum, can you tell I’m a little hungry?)

It is not about waiting. It is about enjoying the hand you’ve been dealt.

I can only speak for myself, but I know if I start thinking about making my time about making the most of the waiting, I will continue to fixate on what I am waiting for. I know I need to let go and allow the Now to just happen. I must enjoy the Now, because that is all we’ve got.

If I focus on the future, I imagine all these incredible scenarios, then I am disappointed when the actual event happens. Or I begin to worry about what could possibly happen, and then I spend all my time in a state of worry.

So I have learned to deal with these periods of time where I could be waiting. Here is how I deal with it:

1. Confront the issue head on, if you can. Sometimes, you can’t confront the situation. You can’t rush the doctor to get test results, you can’t always talk to that guy that didn’t call after the first date. In the situations that you can confront the issue, please do. Just talk it over with whoever is giving you a problem and making you wait.

If you can’t confront the person, you can confront your reaction. Why are you so worried or anxious that you are living waiting for something? How can you resolve these uneasy feelings? What is in your power that you can control?

2. Let it go. Whatever it is that you are waiting for is obviously out of your control, so let go of your connection to it. I work as a stage manager for an outdoor theater company. When a storm is brewing we always have a few people staring at their smart phones, watching the radar trying to predict when the storm will hit. I like to take in the information, make a plan of action in my head, and then forget it. If I focus on my smart phone and predicting things, I will miss cues, I might not see something important that is happening on stage. I won’t stop the show so we can all wait for the storm to pass us, that would be silly. I figure that we should do what we can now and address the storm when it arrives. It’s out of my control, it’s going to happen whether I wait around for it or not.

I believe we should let go of the problem, do what you have to do to move on and keeping your momentum going forward.

I believe action will always be better than inaction. You can waste your entire life waiting around. Why do that? Even if the action that you take isn’t perfect, it’s better than sitting at home and waiting for the phone to ring.

Self-Diagnosing: Do I Have An Addictive Personality?

I have wondered about my tendency to compulsively read, binge watch TV shows, or even think about a crush. You know, when it feels like you just can’t stop doing something, and you go for just one more minute? Which turns into an hour and a half. Or two. And you have no idea where time went.

I joke that I tend towards an addictive personality. I won’t watch certain TV shows that my friends enjoy because I know I would get hooked, and then I’d have one more show to catch up on online. I’ve already been sucked into Scandal (thanks a lot, Amanda) and Once Upon A Time (ahem, Wendy!) and I am back watching Grey’s Anatomy after stopping three years ago (Joe, I blame you entirely for that one).

I actually had an excitedly passionate conversation last night about the ins and outs of Olivia and Fitz’s relationship in Scandal, and the merits of Jake as a partner for Olivia. All while training clients in the studio. Low point.

My sister finally convinced me to read The Hunger Games and I read the second half of the first book (187 pages out of 374) in an afternoon. Apparently this is typical for these books, but I was still a little disturbed. And glad that the second book was not with me at the time. (It sits next to me and is beckoning me right now…)

I’ve wondered for years, but I finally decided to do some research. Do I have an addictive Personality? My conclusion is no, I am guilty of compulsive behavior but it is not quite addictive.

According to an article in the New York Times, there have been recent studies on this very topic. The more that science uncovers how the brain processes pleasure, the more we learn about addiction and why some people fall prey to it more than others. They refer to drug and alcohol addictions as hard addictions, but they recognize that there can be other addictions such as binge-watching television.

According to one report, the main attributes of a person with an addictive personality are listed here in the article. What really struck me as different from what I do compared to an addicted person is that the behavior is a way to escape something stressful and to avoid it all together. The behavior shows signs that the person is a willing deviant and nonconformist.

While I could somewhat agree with the fact that I don’t always agree with societal values, I don’t think that it is in the way that would label me as deviant. I do use some of my binging behavior to help me through tough times (I did start watching. Scandal and Once Upon A Time because of a breakup, but they have excellent stories and I love good characters and compelling stories) but I would hardly say that I use it to escape and not deal with my problems.

i am the queen of over-analyzing my problems. I definitely do not escape them!

Apparently I do receive pleasure that registers in my brain from these activities. I love caffeine, I can crave great sex with a partner that I’m crazy about, and I can watch one too many episode of Greys Anatomy on Netflix (it’s not fair, the next episode starts right away without me touching a button!). But thankfully, I can say this does not make me an addict. Just compulsive, so I must make sure to monitor it.

Whew. I’d be lying if I had I wasn’t a bit relieved!

Lonely The Day After Christmas?

It’s the day after Christmas. Presents have been given, the sweets have been devoured, and the family has come and gone. What remains is the torn wrapping paper,the leftover sweets (and the bellyache after eating too many) and a house that was once full but is now empty.

The Day After Christmas can feel exceptionally lonely. We’re riding off of a high of good feelings and cheer. Love for everyone! Love is all around!

But then what do you do when that’s all gone? How do you cope?

For me, I felt some tinges of jealousy this year. My cousins are all in happy relationships (when and how did that happen??) and my friends are all married or in long term relationships. And for me? I was dog sitting, so I couldn’t even sleep at my mom’s. I had to be alone with a puppy that needed to be crated for sleep. No cuddling for me.

So this question was particularly relevant. It is so easy to focus on what I don’t have. To focus on the relationship I wish I had to cuddle me at night. About the date I wish I had for New Year’s Eve. Hell, I wish I had any plans for New Year’s even if I was planning on purposefully doing nothing and staying home.

But how do you deal? What do you do?

For me it was as simple as saying I’ll sleep on it. If I still feel awful in the morning then I can start worrying about a strategy to feel better. Last night I felt awful, I felt low. I also had a killer cold so it was easy to go to bed early and to sleep late.

Today, I don’t feel so bad. I do still have some of the nasty cold lingering, but I’m not feeling as awful about being lonely. I think what is important to take away is that these feelings will always pass if we let them go and do not stress about them.

Bad feelings are the most important feelings to let go of. And the most difficult. These are the ones that we try to hold on to and try to figure out  how to fix. But the more we do that the longer they linger and the feelings may even get worse.

It is another example of the power of letting go of control. I’m not great at it. When I am in a situation that feels new or unfamiliar or that I do not feel confident in myself. All I know is that I need to breathe. Deep breathing, and then I focus and just do my best. Sometimes my best is nothing.

And that’s ok, too.

Human Connection And Random Acts Of Kindness

My Random Acts of Kindness project is coming to an end soon and I have had many experiences that I will probably repeat and many that I have learned from. One of the areas that surprised me the most was the reaction I got from people when I tried to give them a free treat.

I got a variety of reactions from people. About half of the time I was genuinely thanked and the person gave a smile of surprise and delight. That was great. Sometimes people even returned the Merry Christmas greeting, and I always feel a little warm and fuzzy on the inside when someone wishes me a genuinely felt Merry Christmas. It reminds me of the old Christmas movies that I love that are filled with such heart.

Of the remaining half of people that are left, about half of those people were too busy or two focused on their destination to stop. While this was a little sad to me, I can understand. I was handing out chocolates at the mall and had been rejected more than I expected and actually found myself rushing through the task. I wasn’t taking the time to talk to the two ladies that actually asked me about what prompted this. When I realized what I did in my car, I was actually a little disappointed in myself.

This is so me. I am guilty of rushing and being too focused. I am not always great about slowing down to appreciate the now, I am always looking ahead and trying to get there now, right this second. Sometimes this is great! I Made a great Girl Scout, always prepared! But when I am neglecting to chat with the person in front of me, I feel like I missed an opportunity. It’s practically missing the entire point of the project!

The other half were very skeptical of me. I think I may be underestimating here, because I was often met with hesitation. People thought I was going to ask them for money if they accepted the treat I was offering. It was shocking and a little disheartening that people had to be convinced that my kindness was just that, kindness.

Perhaps the reason that I had this happen so often was because I was at the mall. When I was passing out snacks at a college campus, I had far fewer people turn me down. At the mall, people were in consumer mode and other people walking around were trying to sell something.

I had more success giving away chocolate and flowers if I started with “Merry Christmas!” Perhaps they needed a context for my kindness.

that sentence strikes me as profoundly sad. Kindness needs a context now?

I find it perplexing that so many people rejected an act of kindness and did not even take the opportunity to make eye contact. Even when people said yes and accepted the gift, we didn’t necessarily make eye contact. When I stopped to think about this, I realize how little we make eye contact now. And how special it is when we do.

Is this a problem of technology? We’re disconnected from human interaction? Is it because we’re too rushed and too busy? Is it because we forget what human kindness is like? Are we becoming less human, less kind?

Michael  Ellsburg actually wrote his first book on eye contact and started his own business for speed dating. In his version, you were not allowed to talk, only gaze into the eyes of the person opposite you. Eye contact is extremely important in creating a connection between romantic partners, and you can learn a lot in silence.

I just found that his website is still live, and you can get a free guide to host your own party. Maybe I will give this a try in the new year and host a version in Baltimore. I would be interested in experiencing it, at the very least.

Check it out for yourself: eyegazingparties.com

What are your thoughts on kindness in modern day society? Is kindness and small human gestures like eye contact slipping away? Or do you think there is more kindness than ever, you just have to keep your eyes open for it?

6 Ways Couples Can Help Their Single Friends

Sometimes it is hard for everyone to remember that there is more to life than being happily coupled up. When you’re single you want what you can’t have- that happy settled relationship. When you’re happily partnered off, it’s hard to remember how much fun you used to have when you were single.

Some of the best moments of being single are when you’re not looking for the next great guy. There is more for coupled friends to offer than your  friend’s brother’s next door neighbor that happens to be single.

Let’s bridge the gap, let’s stop seeing “single”as a problem that needs to be solved. Instead let’s learn how we can all get along and have a lot of fun together.

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I know it’s hard when you are trying to support a friend that is going through something that you can’t relate to. The biggest problem is that you start wondering how you can help, or what is the right thing to say.

Let me help, here is how coupled friends can help single friends.

  1. Keep inviting us to hang out.
    The problem of wondering what to say goes both ways. We singles often don’t want to interrupt your evenings of wedded bliss and tons of married sex (because you still do that, right?). And if you have children, we assume that you’re ready to move on with your life and leave us in the dust. So help us bridge the gap, and invite us over once in a while. It doesn’t have to be the wild late nights like we used to do together when we were all single. We like your company, just as you are.

    Every once in a while, we may leave early from a party you throw with your couple friends or we may turn down your invitation if there is something else going on. This is going to be rare, but it might happen.

  2. Stop setting us up on blind dates without asking us first.
    There is nothing more uncomfortable than the accidental set up- when you invite me and some guy that you think is just perfect and oh! we just happen to all be at the same place at the same time! There is nothing accidental about that, and it’s just awkward.

    If you want to set us up on a date let us know in advance. Let us decide whether or not we’re ok with being set up. We’ve had plenty of set ups, and sometimes we’d rather have the opportunity to say no thanks. Or, you can invite us to a big party and if we happen to meet and mingle then that’s swell. But there is also an entire party full of people that we can talk to in case it doesn’t work out.

  3. Warn us if we will be the only single person at a dinner or a party. But don’t let that stop you from inviting us.

    We won’t say no just because we’re the only single person at the party. But we would like to know ahead oftime. We can wrap our brain around that, pysch ourself up, and know that we won’t have to put effort into looking extra cute in case someone is flirt-worthy. We would just like some warning, that’s all.

  4. Let us help you try new things.
    One of the best things about being single is that you have to have a life. One of the best things about being coupled up is that you can stay in and do nothing and still have a great night. But a little too much staying in gets to be boring.

    That’s where we come in! Singles to the rescue! When we invite you out to check out a funky art opening, a new band, a great party, a new bar say yes once in a while. You can still try new things outside of your coupled life and we’ll love having the new experiences with you.

    And if we don’t invite you, ask if you can come along. The next time we share a story about the last great thing we did, tell us you’d like to join the next time and we’ll invite you. It may not have occurred to a single person that a coupled person would want to join us for a wild night out.

  5. Stop the cliches, please.
    “You’ll find him when you’re not looking.” “He’s out there!” “You deserve better!” We’ve heard it a million times, and it’s nothing we aren’t telling ourselves in moments of weakness alone in the shower.

    We turn to you for support because you are a friend. We don’t need you to fill space with meaningless cliches, unless you’re making fun of how ridiculous they sound. It’s enough for you to be with us, and if you don’t know what to say it’s ok to admit that. Say something witty or insightful if it comes to mind, otherwise let’s just be goofy and watch silly YouTube videos.

  6. Be our wingman/woman.
    It is really cool to have someone that is already coupled off that is willing to help us pick up men. It saves the trouble of worrying if you’re going to snag the guy we’re really into. Some of my married friends make the most effective wingwomen because they have fun flirting on my behalf and they see their friend (me) get hooked up! Win-win for everyone!

Hopefully these ideas help break some of the tension between marrieds and singles. It doesn’t have to be a war between the two, we just need to be open with each other about what makes us uncomfortable and what kind of support we need.

What are your tricks for dealing with married or single friends?

 

 

The Difference Between Needing and Wanting a Relationship

I think one of the most exciting thing about being single is that anything can happen. I made some new friends (Hi Katie, hi Karen!) this week and they are both married and have been with their husbands for a while. Both love their husbands dearly, but it’s the same guy all the time. They said they both like to live vicariously through their single friends.

Well, I ought to hold up my end of the bargain and give you some of the ins of what I’ve got going on!

In my experience there is a distinction between needing a relationship and wanting one. Needing implies that you are not whole without a relationship, that you need that other person to “complete” you. I’m sorry Jerry Maguire, but nobody completes anyone. You have to be whole as yourself in order for there to be a healthy relationship.

The only exception. If you are a donut and a donut hole, you may say you complete me.

The only exception. If you are a donut and a donut hole, you may say you complete me.

So what is the difference of wanting a relationship? Why is that ok? I think that it is perfectly natural for a person to want to be in a relationship. Having a companion can be fun and fulfilling.

A whole person (or donut) can recognize his or herself as whole and still want to be coupled up. There is nothing weak about that. A person standing fully on their own two feet and being with someone that is also standing on their own two feet.

I am a long time sufferer of codependency. It takes a lot of work for me to develop a strong sense of self so that I do not lose that in a relationship. And I mentally know the difference between expecting a person to complete me and standing on my own two feet, but practicing that is much different.

It’s so easy to talk the talk, and I can spout all the different ways to be an independent woman. Walking that talk is a harder task.

What about you? What do you do to keep yourself standing on your two feet, and not lean on someone else?

“Friends, Lovers, Or Nothing”

I don’t know how people are able to be friends with an ex after they break up. I asked the question a while ago, and I decided that I’m just not ready for that, or maybe I’m just not capable of with a guy that I deeply cared about.

I have a great friend that blurs those lines all the time. Friends than lovers than back of fiends, sometimes friends with benefits sometimes just friends. She seems happy so more power to her!

I could never understand how she could do it, and keep sane all the while.

After endless nights of picking her brain over glasses of wine, I decided to chalk it up to being two extremely different people. She is excellent at compartmentalizing, and I am not (although I can fake it for a while and I can be pretty convincing).

I realize I am All or Nothing in pretty much every part of my life. I am all in or I make it pretty clear that I’m not interested.

I make quick decisions about work, people, relationships, books, wine…you name it. I continually work on developing my intuition (not that I am always wise enough to listen to it…) so that I can learn to trust my gut and go with it.

Even beyond that, when I am dating a guy I know pretty quickly what category I plan to put him in. Is there a short shelf life on this guy? Am I just going to date him as long as it’s fun? Is he worth sleeping with? Is there long term potential here?

For better or worse, I make these decisions pretty fast. Maybe I move good guys into the expiration file too fast, but if I’m not interested why fake it for a while? Life is too short to be around with people that may or may not blossom over time.

If I have put the guy in that long term potential category I am all in, fully invested, I want to make this work and give it it’s best shot. And if it doesnt work, my heart is broken for a while, but there is no crossing over into the friend zone.

I have been able to do this once, with my college sweetheart. But he left the country for a few years and we didn’t speak for probably five years, so there was plenty of time for it to transition.

But to do that transition in just a few months? Or weeks or days, like my friendship? No way, not happening.

I had this realization about myself a few days ago, and it put things into perspective. I have always wondered why I want to rush the initial dating stages with guys I really like. I just want to get to the good part, where you’re settled and in love and happy with each other. (Yes, I know, it’s all the good part with the right guy, but in the moment I sometimes just want to fast forward to the part where we know each other inside and out)

I often look at my flaws and try to find how I can improve myself. But I don’t necessarily see this as a flaw. I see it as an opportunity to be aware of myself so that I can be better person in relationships. An opportunity to be completely honest and open. I have a sneaking suspicion that this may be just who I am and it’s not going to change.

Whenever I discover something like this about myself, I get excited. I think that the more I know myself, the better I can be when I show up for the people in my life. I can be honest about my expectations of myself and others. And it helps me sort through the guys even better, because I know if I am not accepted for who I am (all of me, even the flawed parts) then I can wish the guy well as he exits from my life.

It’s why I don’t feel bad for calling a guy I’ve been dating and suggesting a date, even though I know they should always do the chasing in the beginning. I tell people how I feel, I express my opinions, and I show my vulnerabilities. If they don’t like that about me, then they are probably not someone that would fit well in my life.

Here is the video of the John Mayer song that inspired this post. It has inspired an idea for a playlist that I am currently working on, and I can’t wait to share it with all of you!